I wish I could stay by your side forever
by bipalium
Summary: DouWata one-shot based on xxxHolic Rou OVA.


- Please, take this. She insists. – Doumeki reached the envelope to me.

- Oh, but you both know I can't leave the shop… - I was even surprised a little. It was so sweet of Kohane-chan, but still… She knew perfectly that invitation was pointless.

- Nevertheless Tsuyuri wanted you to take it.

He gave me his usual serious look. His nightmare… His memories… I knew everything what happened was hard for him. I thought maybe it was better for us never met in the first place, but those Haruka-san's words…

_Fates that destined to intertwine will intertwine. _

- It's so funny that you're still calling her by the surname, notwithstanding that she'll become your wife after a month. – I smiled.

- I'm still not used to it. – He answered calmly, taking a sip of liquor.

- You're better to appreciate her, do you understand? Oh, what did she even find in you? And she isn't the only one…

- Hey. – Doumeki's gaze was always like that – straight, quite and confident. But at that moment I've noticed a slight shadow of sorrow in his dark eyes. – You're the most important person for Tsuyuri.

I sighed. It's not like I've never knew it. But… The whole situation was so complicated for all of us, and I was sure it was my entire fault.

- Are you alright with this? – I asked quietly.

- Yes, I am. – He looked away for a second, apparently collecting his thoughts. – Watanuki… She isn't the only one. I… - He frowned. – I can say the same thing.

I took a deep drag. Doumeki… He was suffering much; I've experienced his feelings as they were mine. Probably it was because of his eye, but it doesn't really matter. I've sensed his growing anxiety, his melancholy; I felt his heart aching with gnawing bitterness.

- I know, Doumeki. But please… - I was searching for the right words for a moment. – Please, live on. I'm a big trouble for all my friends, and I can't handle it anymore… I don't want all of you suffering because of me. I was so glad when Himawari finally found her love. She deserves happiness like no one. And Kohane-chan… She and you… You both deserve it as well.

- Watanuki. – I felt his warm palm on my hand. – Don't say such things. I can't just forget you and live on. It's easier to say than to do this. I wish I could stay by your side forever if it was possible…

Bitter lump was building in my throat. I exhaled and stroked his hand that was still resting on mine.

- Seems it's really pointless to say… I wish the circumstances were in another way…

- Hey. – He leaned closer to my face. – Stop blaming yourself.

- How do you… - I gasped faintly.

- From this. – Doumeki pointed his finger near _our _eye. – I feel strong grief from your heart.

Now he was more like Doumeki that I used to see, but he still was hesitant about something. It was very true, I couldn't feel tranquilly when the man I loved so much just uttered such doleful words. The worst thing was that I couldn't even help him to feel blessed again…

- Watanuki, please stop it. – He embraced me tenderly, wiping treacherous tear that escaped from my eye. – Ugh, let's just… I'm not sure if you want… How I can make you happy?

- I would be happy if you would... – I whispered intermittently. My voice betrayed me in the middle of the phrase.

Doumeki glanced worryingly into my eyes. His gaze was so intense and deep that I barely could hold it. After the whole minute of staring he chuckled softly.

- Come to me. – He said quietly, his lips moved closer to mine so I could feel his warm breath on my face. I've closed my eyes, feeling his heated mouth on mine, he kissed me slowly, penetrating deeper with every movement of his tongue. A short moan escaped from my mouth through his teeth. He gently broke the kiss and looked at me wistfully.

- Can I? – He asked simply.

I made only one barely noticeable nod. Doumeki smiled and pressed his lips against mine again. This time his lips were even more hot and passionate, his hands were sliding down my spine and hips, my blood has boiled immediately from his touches. I raised my hands and ran my fingers through his stiff short hair.

- Lie down. – He said quietly.

I obeyed, lying down on the wooden floor. Doumeki unbuttoned his shirt rather quickly, unbuckled his belt and leaned over me again.

- Your breath is heavy. – He said as if he was talking about the weather.

- Stupid, it was you who made me like that. – I felt my cheeks were blushing.

- You know, your face is so adorable when you're embarrassed. – He smiled slightly.

I haven't had time to answer, while he was already covering my bare neck with soft kisses. I moaned from this sensation, then I've noticed his fingers were fondling inner side if my thigh.

- You're becoming aroused. – He whispered.

- Stop teasing me already… It's embarrassing…

His thighs snuggled closer to me; hot erection manifested through his pants. Doumeki was sliding his wet tongue down my chest, I heard sound of unzipping.

- Now you should relax. – He said with a teacher's tone. – I won't harm you if you won't tighten.

I replied with a small excited sigh and clenched my hands over his neck. He kissed me deeply, moving his tongue so tenderly and at the same time ardently that I didn't even felt any pain when he entered my body. His hot flesh was now pulsing inside me and I couldn't keep the moans further.

- Ah… Doumeki…

- Is it hurt? – He asked softly.

- No… Please, move forward…

He heeded my request instantly, starting to slide carefully inside me. Every thrust was very deep, he was pulling his entire cock into me and then slowly removing it almost to the root, and then again, again and again… Sometimes I felt his tender hands all over my body, he was caressing my hips, my nape, neck, his heavy hot breath and rare groans touched my face, sometimes he was distracting to give me a gentle kiss… But…

What was it?

I felt something really improper; suddenly I was overflowed with sorrowful feelings, _his _feelings. They were still mixed with pleasure, but it wasn't right at all, how could he continue to suffer in such situation?.. My head was filled with thoughts in a flesh, but I knew for sure if I would uncover this now the mood going to be ruined and… Oh god, I felt so good that I can't even describe it properly… Doumeki was so gentle and tender, every his movement brought me incredible sensations of pleasure filling my entire body… Strange, but it wasn't even lust, it was more like… _Exactly what I should say to him. _

- Doumeki… - I pressed him tightly to my chest. – I feel like we're blending together and our souls becoming an organic whole…

He became silent for an eternal minute, weakening his hug and movements. I've started to regret a little that I allowed myself to say it, when suddenly I heard quiet sniff.

- _I love you so much, Watanuki. – _He whispered into my ear, holding back his tears and then embraced me affectionately.

_- I love you with all my heart. _– I replied below my breath.

* * *

Half an hour after we were lying peacefully at my outspread kimono, Doumeki was hugging me by the shoulders. I lit up the cigarette and took a deep long drag.

- So… - I exhaled slowly. – Should I consider it as your last goodbye?

Doumeki frowned. He pondered for a few seconds and then pulled me closer and said with confident seriousness:

- You will forever stay in my heart. No matter what. _Fates that destined to intertwine will intertwine. _

My eyes widened and I caught myself sobbing. I embraced him in response, putting all my love and gratitude in this movement.

- You're so sweet, Watanuki. – Doumeki said softly riffling my hair. – Just please, don't cry.

I wiped my tears and leaned my head against his chest, he rested his hand on my back, and in this position we were lying relaxed until the bitter dawn.

* * *

**A/N:**

Greetings, readers! Here is some bitterness for you. I'm not sure if I'm enough good for drama and angst, because Doumeki/Watanuki is really a tragic couple... I hope it came out well and you liked it! My apologies for all the mistakes and typos, thank you for reading!


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